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Those, are the words of a man too angry to type properly. It's now been nearly 48 hours since the Reading game, and I'm still so wound up, I can barely use my computer like a civilised human being. FVHILDFSLKDSAF hnjx,mn xz, asilds,.ms.

Instead I find myself just mashing my keyboard with my knuckles like some kind of L*ton fan trying to get to grips with the Watford message-boards.

SGDFLKJHFGDS cvkn,vdfmsweo fkjsdaoilamn ,sda. Aidy has described the incident as being like "a UFO landing at The Vic." I'm pretty sure if ET had plonked his spacecraft on top of The Rous Stand, trotted into The Rookery and jabbed me in the eye with his big alien freak finger on Saturday, I would have still been stood in the stand going, "No. No. Surely not. Wha? Wh? Wh? What? How is that a goal? J, j, j, ju, ju, just, how in any way shape or form is that a goal? Get out of my way ET! How is that a goal?"

The question is not just why hadn't the lino gone to Specsavers, but why do these things always happen to us? Danny Shittu goes up unchallenged to put Watford 1-0 up against Hull in the play-offs (and to net me over £100 on a first goal scorer bet) and the ref sees a "ghost" Hull player who he's allegedly pushed.

Replays show there was nobody even marking him. First game in the Premier League OAP Chris Powell calmly heads the ball with his hands firmly by his sides… hand ball… penalty… 2-1 Everton. Ghost hands! Bah.

I'm now wondering if the club are being haunted by some evil spirit… and frankly all fingers are pointing in one direction - Harry The Hornet's seemingly dead wife.

I haven't seen Harriet The Hornet at The Vic for years now, and you can't help but wonder if dear Harry has done away with her. Buried in his beehive, is she now haunting the club in revenge for her demise?

The fact that, "the club being haunted by a six foot giant dead she-hornet" seems the most plausible explanation of such a baffling "goal" decision, just goes to show how mad it all was on Saturday.

It was the craziest thing I've seen in over two decades of going to football week in / week out and I don't think I'll ever get over it. Well unless we beat West Ham tomorrow. "Lino! Give us a goal! Lino, lino, give us a goal!"

Season Ticket holder Lee Coan will be bringing you regular updates on life as a Hornet and following the team on the road throughout the season. To see past articles click here.

The views in this blog are not necessarily the views of Watford Football Club.

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